i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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