I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
