I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
