Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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