So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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