How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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