Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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