My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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