why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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