Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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