it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
