No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize