I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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