If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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