tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
