uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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