Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
