Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just high enough for therapy.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
