Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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