dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
