brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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