my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
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well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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