In the future we'll all be gay
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
