Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
