I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
