Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
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Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
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Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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