I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
