Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
