Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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