You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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