I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
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I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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