that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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