If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
