My hand turned me down
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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