Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
