the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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