I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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