she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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