the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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