Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she peed on how many people?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
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