His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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