Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
