i think my tv is drunk
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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