Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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