Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
