I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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