My hand turned me down
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
worst night to have a conscience
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
