I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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