ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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