Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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