There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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