ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
