So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
