I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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