Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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