When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
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One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
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My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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