I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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