why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
