Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
