i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
