yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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