I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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