His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
