I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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